Latest posts by Eline Sap (see all)
- Revisited: Yaqout, Syria - March 10, 2025
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It has been three years since we interviewed Yaqout, who moved from Syria to Hungary and eventually to Germany (see the previous interview). He encountered various difficulties regarding occupation, housing, and health. How is he doing now? What are his goals? And has his perspective on Germany changed over the past few years?
In 2022, I was still living in a small room in a small village outside of Berlin. I stayed there for about 1,5 years more, then I found my apartment in Bernau. I was happy to find a new place, but it was around the same time that I lost my job. I moved there in 2023, so it’s been about two years now. It’s very comfortable, though a bit expensive. My neighbors are German, it’s really nice; we are like family there. We have a garden, usually they smoke over there and we meet often. They have my keys, so whenever they need anything, they can enter. I’m happy, but Bernau is still a small place.
Career
In 2022, I started a job at an architecture agency, at first part-time and later full-time. I worked mostly from home and traveled only a few times per month to either Hamburg or Stuttgart. My boss had a project he wanted to finish, and for each new contract, he wrote that I was still in my trial period. At one point, he told me to come to Hamburg. At the end of the working day, he said not to go to the hotel but to meet with him instead. Then he took my laptop and told me that the contract would be ended. He said, ‘Cancel the hotel and go back to Berlin’. He wanted me to sign a paper, but I didn’t trust him as I was afraid I would not receive unemployment compensation. Since then, he did not send me any salary for the hours I worked.
I went to court, but it was really difficult as everything was in German. I had to do it all by myself, while my former boss had an insurance, a lawyer, and everything. He owed me something like 8000 euros. I sent all of the papers to the court. However, my boss changed the court from Berlin to Stuttgart, as the contract was officially connected to Stuttgart. Luckily, I was able to do the paperwork in a recently opened court near Bernau. When I went there for the first time, they brought a translator, but he was of not much help. I didn’t have a lawyer, and it felt like they were using that against me. In the end, they offered me an amount that was less than half of the 8000 I was entitled to. I had no insurance or other options, so I accepted the offer. On reviews online, I read that this happens to people at this court all the time.
I was able to start a new job about a month later. Again, I spent several hours a day looking for a job until I found one at another architectural company, this time in Potsdam. This office was more professional compared to my former experiences. I learned a lot, but in some aspects, I felt like I was being used by them. Being a migrant, you don’t get paid a lot if you compare it to the payment of German employees. The work was stressful too. Still, I learned a lot. I did not see eye to eye with my boss, but I was eager to learn and have a lot of responsibilities in my life, so I thought ‘It’s fine’. But now I think I don’t have to say that it’s fine because at some points you have to say “no” or tell them you don’t want them to act in a certain way. But it’s okay, I have nice colleagues.
‘I received a text from my boss. She just told me they couldn’t extend my contract.’
When my contract wasn’t extended, they were all shocked. I found out on a Sunday night. I was having dinner with my friends and then I received a text from my boss. She just told me they couldn’t extend my contract and that I had to get in touch with the employment agency. The next day, I went to the office and saw her standing beside the door. She did not look at me, and when I told her I wanted to talk to her, she told me she had no time and we would speak later. I was very stressed about it and made an appointment with my GP, who got me a sick note so I could get two weeks off.
I spent the whole Christmas time reorganizing myself; I had to update my CV, go to the employment agency, et cetera. I discussed my situation with the employment agency. It turns out that because I have been working at this company for two years, they either had to give me an indefinite contract or let me go. Three months before the contract ends, it should become clear whether your contract is extended or not. I spoke to a lawyer about this, and he said it’s not professional to let me know this late, but officially, I had to be the one to ask them about my status three months before the contract ends. The last six months had been stressful with my boss, now I know why. She wanted me to say that I don’t want to work there anymore, because she was waiting for another person to work there.
University
I don’t know if I would rather go back to university or start a new job. Right now, everything that has happened is still so fresh. I want to feel like I am stable and safe, maybe then I can make the right decisions. If I found something really close to home, I could work and do the master parallel. Now my commute is very long, so I am spending a lot of time traveling. When I got the sick note for 15 days, I felt like: ‘What am I doing? I spend all my days outside commuting and at the office.’
If I were to study again, I would probably focus on project management. There are masters in this field which take up 2 to 3 years. Nowadays, it is not enough to study what you love. Architecture is my dream; I want to be an architect. But right now, architects have low income, so I will have to go for something in between project management and architecture.
Sun
I should play sports, but I have no time. I’m walking a lot though. It’s been three years since my operation, but it feels like yesterday. The lack of sun in Berlin is a problem. I feel like in Syria I have time to work, time for family and friends. Because of the sun it feels like you have more time. Here when I go out, it’s always grey and all my time is spent on working. I have no time for friends or family. I try to find time for them, but then I’m thinking: tomorrow I have to work, I have to do this, that etc., it’s not really fun. I don’t know if that is related to the sun, but that’s a problem for me. I need to go somewhere where there’s sun.
Family
I applied for family reunion, so my sister could leave Syria to come to Germany. In August, she did an interview with the German embassy to apply for asylum. She was waiting one month, two months… After five months, she was refused. For a family reunion, it turns out, it should be about either your parent, child, or partner. A brother or sister does not count. The process was taking a long time and I started to feel something was wrong. I prepared her and said: ‘If something goes wrong, I will go to a lawyer’. It is long for the embassy to take five to six months. Maybe they knew what was coming. They don’t care about the Syrians; it is all about politics. Now I don’t know how long it will take with the court. Usually, it should take six months to one year. But now the situation in Syria is uncertain, so anything can happen.
I don’t know what to expect from the situation in Syria. They are doing this make-over, saying ‘We are open, it’s different now’, but maybe when they have the power, it will all be the same again. Their background is not good. I think that if Assad would still be there, my sister could come here. Since he left, the whole program in Germany for Syrian refugees has been put on hold. Myself, I am a legal refugee. My visa will expire in 2026, then I have to renew it. Before, this happened automatically for another three years, now I don’t know. Maybe for me, it would be a different story since I applied for asylum because I’m gay. In another situation, I don’t know. My Syrian friends, especially the last three or four years, when someone applies for asylum, they would get protection for only a year. Once everything is okay in your country, they send you back. Still, they cannot just do that, people have built a life here. If they would say that to me, I would have to start over again.
‘When I lost my job, I felt like I had nothing’
To be stable, you need an income. But even when you do have a job, you are always scared that you will lose it. Besides, everything is getting expensive. Being here has made me unstable. All these things I did since I arrived in Germany … I always feel like I have to do more. This makes me really stressed. When I lost my job, I felt like I had nothing. I don’t know whether this is a normal feeling or whether I am more emotional, but this is how I feel. I mean, I have a safe life now. I have a lot of Arabic gay friends; I’m enjoying my life. But still, maybe because in Syria we were always scared, I bring this with me.
Germany
I am a bit disappointed in Germany. I feel that during these four years, I did many things and did nothing at the same time. Now I feel tired. Tired from the paperwork and processes. I am spending all my life doing process after process, paperwork after paperwork. For example, I can not throw away mail because I might need it after years again to prove something. This is not fair. I live in a small apartment so I don’t have the space to save everything.
My German is better now, but I need to practice more. At the office, I understand everything people say to me, and I can do my calls, for example, for insurance in German. But in the office, sometimes I feel like a robot. Behind the computer, working, working, working… You don’t have a lot of time to practice. I have B1 and wanted to do B2, but then I had my job, so I didn’t have time to go to the course. The university offers some language courses, so if I end up studying again, perhaps I could do that.
Right now, I feel like a hamster. I am running all the time. I mean, I am glad I can be who I am, because in Syria that was not possible. Actually, Germany has done a lot for me. When I applied for asylum, I was saved because of Germany. At the same time, I miss the warmth. The people are hard workers. In Syria as well, but we find it important to spend time with friends and family. Here is a focus on work. After work, we meet with friends for a short time, maybe, but that’s it. Every day I spend three to four hours traveling and eight hours working. Sometimes I even have to stay longer, even though my boss knows that I have to travel far afterwards. Also, the people don’t always care about other people’s feelings: in Syria, we are warmer. I have a lot of people in my life right now. I have a lot of friends that I meet on the weekends and a few close friends. During the week, we can only do some calls because we live far apart.
I know different people of different nationalities, though all speak Arabic. I have a few German friends, but there’s always a limit. I tried many times to make really close German friends, but it doesn’t work. They do everything by their calendar. One friend told me: ‘You need to tell me one week before we meet so I can put it on my calendar and make it fit’. For me, I love my friends and want to make time for them. I am not a number. Maybe because they’re German they are more organised than us. No one wants to think outside of the box. They don’t show emotions.
When I say good morning to someone in Berlin, it’s rare to have a small talk. If I ask someone, how can I get to the station, some people will help and some people will just ignore me. Some weeks ago, I was in Amsterdam, and that felt very different from here. In Amsterdam, when I didn’t know where to go, they were telling me ‘yeah, you should go here and here…’ Some time ago I was in Portugal on a FlixBus and I was seated next to a girl, who asked me: Where are you from?’ I said ‘Syria’, and the whole way we talked about Syria, Portugal, everything. Here, that would not happen. They say Berlin is different because it is so multicultural. I think living in small cities or villages will be even harder.
When people come to Germany, they expect them to give them everything. It doesn’t work like that; you need to make an effort. You can not stay in the refugee home, not do anything, play videogames and expect the government to pay everything for you. Especially if you have a family, you have to respect the rules. Some rules I don’t like, but since Germany is helping me, I need to respect these rules. Some people do nothing and complain.
Before I arrived here, I lived in Budapest. I was expecting that Germany would be more beautiful, since it is a richer country than Hungary. But Berlin is a really dirty city. It is also a hard city, because there are no limits for anything. Even if you are a responsible person and know your limit, you will easily get lost. Then I started to hear about stories of drugs everywhere, they say illegal, but it’s legal. It is a hard place to be. When I just got here, someone told me that Berlin is not a good place to start a family. I did not understand back then but with time, I started to know more people and I realized it is indeed not a place to have a family.
I am 100% sure living in Germany changed me, but in which way I don’t know. To know if you are changed or not, you have to go back to the same place where you grew up. I would have to go back to Syria to be able to compare.
Future in Bernau
For now, I will stay in Bernau. With my neighbors, it is the first place where I feel like I have a family. When I was sick some weeks ago, they asked me: ‘Yaqout, do you need anything?’ This was the first time this happened in Germany. They told me, ‘If you need to go to the hospital or somewhere else, call me and I will be here’. I really have nice neighbors, a nice garden and a nice environment.
I need a car though. Bernau is getting bigger and bigger, we need more services such as supermarkets. Let’s say that more than 50% of these people work in Berlin. Most have a car and can use it to go to the supermarket and take their stuff, for me I have to take my bike. When there is snow, it is really difficult. Also, I only have Edeka near me and it’s really expensive. Sometimes I go to a different supermarket on my way home from work, but then I still have to organize everything. I do groceries for a longer time ahead, but I want my vegetables to be fresh. Renting a car, I tried one time with Miles, but that was really stressful. I got my driver’s license in Germany, actually. I had to pay a lot. After ten lessons, I failed once and then I passed. I already had a Syrian one, so that helped.
A lot of things have happened since the last interview, but somehow, I don’t have the information in my mind. My life has been mainly about work. In the future, I would still like to be an architect. Though I think Germany is not the right fit for that, because here they mostly care about the technical side and less about the beauty. It is also again a lot of paperwork. The pay is also not good. It is not about money, but it is important to have it in order to live. I would like to be in a place with more sun and a good income. My parents live in the US, but I don’t know if I would want to live there. I don’t have a plan. Other Syrians have similar problems, it is hard for us to get a good job here. Two friends are also looking for jobs, an architect and an accountant, but the language remains a problem. Even if you speak German, you cannot always follow the conversation.
I’m trying to force myself to be positive, but I don’t know for how long I can keep that up. That’s why I am a bit disappointed. I don’t have a strong foundation.